Hey, turns out that’s me.

The last dregs of football are leaving the French press, and you absolutely have to enjoy it until the last drop. Combine them the draft, then the great emptiness. The underwear olympics should be the biggest laughing stock in all of sports, but because it’s the first football we’ve seen in a month you better believe I’m tuning in. Since watching people run, jump, and cut one after the other is one of the most boring things imaginable….our good friends at BetDSI have a shit ton of odds you can bet to spark things up a bit.

I’ve included the ones I’m “sure” of below, with some value picks after that.

Kyler Murray vertical OVER 32.5.

This should be the first and biggest bet you make if you’re joining me in this degeneracy. A 32.5 vertical is the mark of a slightly above marginal NFL athlete. Kyler will enter the league as possibly the BEST athlete. All he needs is 33’…that should be a LOCK.

Kyler Murray 40 YARD dash time 4.42-UNDER.


Two reasons to take this bet.

1) one book has it at 4.37. It’s 4.42 on mine. .05 seconds is SUBSTANTIAL in the 40-yard dash and Murray is alleged to have run a 4.38 last year for Oklahoma.

2) and I’m not definitive on the rules of this, but according to the bet, it says he result must be public knowledge by April, 1. Well, if he runs at the combine it will obviously be public knowledge at that time. So why April, 1? I can only assume it’s due to the fact that if the athlete doesn’t do the specific drill then they use their pro-day time. And Pro day times are ALWAYS faster than combine times. So…two reasons to bet on Kyler.

Bonus reason 3) watch.

You can’t tell me that’s anything less than 4.40 speed.

DK Metcalf 40 time OVER 4.50



People who look like this simply cannot run that fast. We as a species became bipedal and developed large brains over many, many, thousands of years. If our next step up the quote/unquote evolutionary ladder is to look like that and run a 4.49 or faster, then Sir DK Metcalf is our overlord.

If you’re also that big and fast, then I expect you to be Calvin Johnson….Mr. Metcalf unfortunately for Ole Miss and whoever drafts him, is not Megatron. In looks maybe, but no way this cat runs a 4.4. Next.

Fastest WR 40 Time-Parris Campbell +125.


Darius Slayton is the next betting favorite at +150 but after the season this was a two horse race to me, and Slaytom was not the second horse. With Hollywood Brown our with a Lis Franc injury, I think this is Campbell’s to lose, and you actually get a positive bet on it too. The Columbus speedster could touch into 4.2 territory, and anytime that happens it’s a good bet there won’t be anyone faster than you.

Trace McSorley 40 time OVER 4.55 ( note: shitty value at -169)


Just don’t see that type of speed from Trace. 4.55 is FAST. I think he’ll hit low 4.6’s but I don’t see 4.55.

Quinnen Williams 40 time UNDER 4.95


He might be the quickest DT I’ve ever seen. 4.94, is fast for a bigg’un but not blazing. He also comes from the Nick Saban laboratory of certified freaks. I expect him under 4.95.

“FIELD BETS” looking for value here.


Qb with highest wonderlic- Daniel Jones +600.

I mean the kid went to Duke for God’s sake, he’s obviously smart. He’s also in the running for a first round pick and he looks just like the type of nerd who thinks that coaches give a shit about the Wonderlic test in 2019, and it’ll boost his draft stick. (news flash: they don’t)


I bet he’s even studying for that shit. Nerd.

Fastest RB-Devin Singletary +600


If you haven’t seen this cat, go watch him. He’s electric in the open field. He’s more quick than fast, but at +600 it’s good value.

#1 Pick of the Draft-Quinnen Williams +519


Bosa is the popular choice at this time, and has been since scouts realized Ed Oliver actually wasn’t Aaron Donald in a red jersey. That being said, you can’t look at Williams’ tape and tell me Bosa is a better player. Does he play a position that’s more “highly regarded”, absolutely. But just look at what the real Aaron Donald did for the Rams this year sans Super Bowl, and tell me a game breaker at DT isn’t at a premium. If Williams rocks the combine, he’s gotta shot at #1. At 5/1 odds, it’s worth laying a lil sum’n sum’n down.



Fastest QB 40- Kyler Murray -417


If you want to LITERALLY bet your life savings on this, to get a fourth back I wouldn’t blame you. The fact that this bet is even on the board is laughable. That being said, if for some reason Kyler doesn’t run a 40 at all ala Lamar Jackson last year, you just lost everything you ever earned. That’s on you.

But it’s on the board if you’re interested.

Now, back to my campfire.