I Just Got Absurdly Hyped for the LSU/Bama Game…And I Hate What I Have Evidently Become.

Let me preface this by saying, for the past decade or so I have absolutely despised both LSU and Alabama.  I’m firmly on the train that the SEC is over-hyped and over-talked about, especially the teams located outside of Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  As a follower of a Big-12 team, I found the majority of the SEC matchups for the past 10 years rather boring.  I found myself on the side of the fence that inept offenses made up about  75% of the folklore regarding the staunch SEC defenses and by following Oklahoma like I do, I’ve seen it proved repeatedly.   A Sooners offense put up 45 on Alabama with Trevor Fuckin’ Knight at Quarterback, 31 on Tennessee when they were relevant, 35 against Auburn, and most recently 48 on Georgia.  Through these games, along with others such as the Deshaun Watson Clemson vs. Alabama games, I certainly find merit to that train of thought.

That being said though, it’s also entertaining as hell to see physical freaks just beat the absolute piss out of each other for 60 minutes.

But when the games (of the century *eye roll*) end up 9-6…I’ve no interest in that.

Fortunately for you, me, and the rest of this great country this ain’t gonna be that, chief.

By all accounts, statistics and eyeball tests Alabama is the superior team in this match up.  The Crimson Tide are the first team we’ve ever seen that runs a highly efficient and potent offense, yet has a defense that can and will both stop you and take the ball away.  The closest thing I can think of is the Ohio State teams of a few years ago or the Jameis Winston Florida State team, but those offense paled into comparison to what Tua and Co. are doing in Tuscaloosa.  More or less, what this Alabama team is doing is unprecedented.  Alabama is a 14(!) point favorite in this game.  A game let me remind you that is in one of, if not the most, hostile environments in football…at night…against the #3 team in the country…and a “wall of sound” with a chorus of “Suck That Tiger Dick, Bitch” coming from 100,000 odd of the overserved fine folk of the Bayou.  All of that is against them.  Literally every imaginable intangible and variable swings against the Tide and Vegas is saying fuck it, it’s still 14 points.  Simply unfathomable.

Strictly speaking, there is no way in hell LSU should win this game.

That’s just a fact.


You’re out of your God Damn mind if you don’t think this will be the most entertaining game of the season


Say what you want about Coach O as an X’s and O’s guy.  From the outside he may come off as a one part Lennie from “Of Mice and Men” and two parts this guy..

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But if nothing else, hes shown he’s at least a caricature that can motivate.  And damnit, if you don’t think the Tigers  are going to come out with  blood in their eyes looking to absolutely destroy someone then you’ve lost your damn mind.  The guy literally took his shirt off and challenged players to step-up to him if they wanted their ass kicked because he thought his Ole Miss team was playing like a bunch of pussies. The guy is an inferno.

The LSU fanbase collectively sighed when Orgeron was hired, but I’ll tell you this much.  There aren’t 5 coaches in the country LSU would rather have in that locker room than the Bayou’s very own, Coach O.  Sure, he lacks in the “technical” department of football.  I wouldn’t trust him to call plays in any level above high school, but guess what.  Play calling ain’t going to beat this Alabama team.  The offensive personnel LSU has along  with the system they run is going to severely limit what LSU can do on the offensive side of the ball.  I’m not  sold on Joe Burrow, and they don’t  have a dynamic back like Leonard Fournette or Derius Guice back there to compensate from the short-comings from the QB position.  That wouldn’t matter.  You could take an LSU all-star team from the past five years and I think ‘Bama would still be the favorite.  No, the coaching isn’t going to win this game for LSU.  But whatever Orgeron’s shortcomings are as a football mind, he makes up for in the fact that his players would throw their bodies in front of a moving train for the guy.

The amount of joose LSU comes out with, along with the subsequent joose Tiger Stadium collectively will have will be more than it ever has before.  And I firmly believe that.  This game is huge every year.  Hell, they call it “The Game of The Century” seemingly every third year its played, but this is different.  It’s never been like this.  LSU is the underdog.  BIG.  They weren’t supposed to be here.  They weren’t supposed to compete for an SEC title this year.  Coach O wasn’t supposed to win.  Georgia was supposed to beat LSU.  And now, Alabama is supposed to beat this team by 2 touchdowns.  That’s not just being called an underdog, that’s a total lack of respect by the smartest sports minds in the world.  Don’t tell those cajun’s what’s supposed to happen.  They don’t give a flying fuck what you have to say, because LSU football is life down there and by God, the Tigers are going to win every damn game in their minds.

The place LSU can look ‘Bama square in the eye and say “Bring it on, bitch” with complete and utter confidence is the defensive side of the ball.  11 freakish athletes that look like lab made specimens prowl that side of the ball, all of which will gladly tear your head off.   This will be Tua’s first real test as a starting Quarterback and also the chance for the nation to see if the ‘Bama offense is for real.  If Tua comes into Tiger Stadium and swings his dick around on this defense, this Alabama team is squarely in contention of being the best team of all time.  But  if Ed O has is way…that ain’t going to happen.  I mentioned before the 9-6 game of 2011 as being boring, and I’ll stand by that take to my grave.  Two absurd defenses shut down two terrible offenses.  Not my cup of tea.  This game though will be different, but in a positive way.   I don’t expect any less carnage on the field, but  the offenses, even despite LSU’s shortcomings are miles better than they were that year.  If this defense can’t stop Tua, there’s nobody in the country that can and if you run up against them you’ll just have to pray he gets the flu.

The whole season the College Football world has been told how dominant Alabama is.

LSU doesn’t give a shit.

They will be in their house. A little bubble in this great country that for 3 hours will have a sole focus.

Proving the world wrong.



Expect carnage.