College Football Picks of the Week: Week 7. You’re Welcome for the Sex Edition.

We were 5-3 last week on straight bets, 0-2 on hail mary parlays and 1-1 on Picks of the week due to some absolute bullshit in the Cal-Arizona game.

I mean… COME ON.

The good news is, it takes bullshit plays like this to keep your boy out of the win column in picks of the week.  First loss of the season due to that? I can live with it.  And  I even gave you TWO picks of the week, so it got balanced out by Wazzu gettin’ in that asshole.  Alright, 5-3 ain’t bad but I can and will do better.  Without  further adu (S/o Freddie) here is how you can get some spendin’ money this weekend.

NCAA: Kansas State – Oklahoma State. Total Under 62 -110 @1.5 units.

What do you get when you bring two terrible offenses into the same stadium to play a game of football? Not completely sure, but I do know what it won’t be and that’s 62 points on the scoreboard.  The “Wizard” of Manhattan (now a Squib) still has a decent defense.  OSU has some guy named “Cornelius” attempting to play QB back there.  I don’t like see that  combo getting points on the board.  OSU has an absolutely  DREADFUL defense, so I think KSU will put up some points.   That  being said, I don’t see them  putting up 35, which is what I think they will need to put up in order to hit the over.

This is an early game, so when you win this with ease take your winnings and  throw  it on this one.

NCAA: LSU – Georgia. Total Under 51 -110 @1 unit.

Maybe I’ve fallen in love with the under? I’ve taken the under more than I  ever have of late, but hell.  You see one of these offenses on the field, you might take a quick snooze.  Unfortunately that would comprise of a full-ass nap in this game as they both have to play.  Pair that with their defenses? I’m not seeing a whole lot of points.  Maybe 24-20 or something like that.  Personally, I can’t wait to see the player prop bets.  No matter what it is…take the under for Joe Burrow passing yards.  The  clock has struck midnight for that cinderalla lookin’ ass.

NCAA: Alabama – Missouri. Total Under 73.5 -110 @1 unit

I’ll fully admit part of the reason I’m taking this is in solidarity with the SEC and how absurd this line is.  Not many people know this, but the SEC as a conference has a law where it  won’t allow  two conference teams to score that much.  They have a reputation as a defensive league, so if points start  flying like something out of that Big-12 Conference to the East the commissioner will step in and stop it.   I’m sure of it.  It’s like how the stock market will stop trading if there is a devastating crash, S/O the other SEC.  The conference just could not possibly allow 73 points in a game to happen and I don’t know how Vegas doesn’t know that.

NCAA: Notre Dame – Pittsburgh U. Spread Notre Dame -21 -106 @1unit

Pittsburgh is approaching Rutgers territory  in the game of  football and it’s pretty sad.  Pittsburgh also has a reputation of spoiling perfect seasons of late, just ask Clemson.  There’s two differences though in those scenarios and what we’ll see Saturday

  1. This PITT team  is WAYYYYY worse than those teams.
  2. This Notre Dame team CAN’T lose like those other teams could.

Clemson could lose to PITT and still make the playoff because they were still eligible for a conference championship.  Notre Dame on the other hand has almost no margin for error here because if they get cooked so does their dream.  Ian Book has gone Goku Super Saiyan mode of late and the ND defense is pretty nasty.  Take the 21 and feel confident.

NCAA: Notre Dame – Pittsburgh U. Total Over 54 -110 @1unit

I said everything that needed to be said about this game above, but I’ll just say this.  If PITT can score a measly 14 points I’m confident we hit  both of these bets.  Go tell your lady you’re taking her out on Sunday night, parlay this bitch right now with the Over and ND -21 and thank me for the sex at a later time.  I’ll go ahead and tell you You’re Welcome right now.

You’re Welcome.

LOCKS OF THE WEEK: Iowa State – West Virginia. Total Over 55.5 -110 @2units and  North Carolina – Virginia Tech. Spread Virginia Tech -5.5 -112 @2units.

55 is a very low number for any game WVU is in.  Iowa States offense can chug a little bit too.  This might  be closer than I want it to be, but go ahead and hammer it.

North Carolina is legitimately a terrible football team.  And that is all that needs to be said about  that.  Hammer that too.